My Heart… Another Serious Moment
July 8, 2008
Some may say (and I mean some) that I am full of Joy and bring Happiness to any situation that may be tense and will try in every attempt to make people happy. My problem of all this is that this Joy is over shadowing the life that I have lived and the things that I don’t want people to know but I still need in so many places of my heart.
God has talked to me and is trying to get through to me and I am willing to open up the doors but for some reason as the doors open they are closing on Him and not letting Him open the doors and needs to force them open and He is continuing to open those doors.
Though I have many great friends, it feels really hard to let them know of what is truly going on in my life and the things that are pulling me down. I know we first must bring them to the Father which I have done but I feel there is more to do/a next step to go.
I do feel however that I need to break away from constraints of how I get tied down at home and start making a way for myself. I know that I have down many things in my 21 years on this planet that I shouldn’t have and God has spoken to me to write these things down and begin to Forgive what has happened in my life which I felt that I already had done but it seems that I need to return to this.
I haven’t done this yet and keeps coming back to me, to do it.
What I truly love is just to cry out all my worries/pain but as many ppl will tell you when I was young I would cry at the drop of a hat and I think I used up all my tears and they are now closed for business.
Since drafting this post, I have now carried out the task that God has given me and do feel a bit lighter I feel all I need is a truly loving touch and a great big hug to restore myself everyday.
This is not just a fleating moment but there have been tears and pulls at my heart over the last year with many thoughts of turning away but the pain was too much. The reason that I need to write these things, I feel is part of the process that has been on my heart to do and hope that you will take it in all sincerity as I go through this and ask for prayer as I do so.