November 30, 2009

Last week I titled the post Thoughts, Emotions and Ideas, which will be a topic for each of the blog posts, this week being thoughts, as we move out of 2009 and knock on the door of 2010. My thoughts are those that have been of 2009 and what my recap of the year that was.

Yes, the past year has had its ups and downs but that is no different from any other of the 23 years being on the planet. 2009 had started out with the thoughts of failing exams, getting projects done and what was on the horizon after graduation if I made it that far. It also held the prospect of a J1 Summer which would allow freedom and experience but the hurdle of exams was always there looming. The time leading up to the exams was going so slow and I thought it would never come.

America had opened my world to getting to know people, to interact with people differently and experience a new culture and change my thoughts for the future that was ahead of me, of where to go, what to do, what to see and espically what I am missing out in. My thoughts of the J1 summer is that everyone should do it and experience a whole new level of freedom (I would say individuality but I do so ligthly). My thoughts of what to do when I returned to Ireland were tested and had to once again make a decision pretty much independtly away from parents and friends with little or no contact from them which did make it harder. My thoughts on what I would do on my return and being a fully graduated student had been altered due to the doom and gloom of the recession and the effects of what I thought I wanted to do. I had the plan to either take a year out and travel and come back to work and “settle” back and look forward then to what to do for my life or to work for 6 months and then travel for 6 months and then return. However, that was changed by the lack of jobs, money and prospects. The change was pushed by the fact that it would involve too much effort to do all that and instead to take the easy option and head back to college for another year and to postpone the inevitable. The Americas did come and go by so quickly that as I look back I cannot believe I was there for so long and I didn’t take the oppertunity to do as much as I would have liked.

Starting of my new college Masters life meant the giving up/passing on the responsibilities of the UCC SVdP Society which I had been involved in since 1st year and never waivered from though at time there were confrontations but these were overcome. I knew it was time to give it up without being sure that I was coming back to college and as a Postgrad, it was up to Undergrads to take it on and proceed with it as they would get more involved being around in college longer than a few months like I was. It was before this I knew though that it was coming to the end. The college course was a lot more intense than I first imagined, maybe due to the fact that it was crammed all in 6 weeks unlike most modules which would be 12 weeks long so that made people think twice of the course which has led to 6-7 people already drop out of the course with only 6 weeks worth of lectures being done. But with 4 years under my belt and I have never failed an exam yet, I don’t intend to start.

This year has led me through thoughts of am I gonna finish the race of college and survive the torments that have been nagging away at me. Yes I have slipped for longer periods than I had thought but I rise to the challenge and not on my own. It has been during these hard times of college, exams and projects that going into these things my thoughts like always turn to Him and ask Him to help me and direct me, to make all the answers to be correct as I seal the papers closed and not fail. This is not the only time I think of Him but throughout the day but mainly at night as I think and go through my head I know that He is listening to me and He drops words into my mind and allows me to grow and have new thoughts, emotions and ideas.

As you can see these thoughts are those of the past with ideas in the coming weeks will be the plans for the year of 2010.

Now with so much free time it has allowed me to think more of what is going on with my thoughts, emotions and ideas which I will continue to blog on… This does not mean that I am not doing any college work, which I am but there is only so much information a brain can handle.


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